Dear Teacher Part II

Hi everyone, thanks for coming back to visit with me in Blogville! I am currently sipping on a white hot chocolate with a chai teabag to spice it up! This blog’s topic is the continuing saga of the challenges educators face in the world of new family dynamics and student assignments! 

I think educators in general need to reconsider the questionnaires they send home about ‘family’ dynamics. Some new questions might be more comfortable, such as: 
Who lives in your house and what are their relationships to the student? 
Who can we expect to come to school activities with the student?
Who should we call if the student is ill or injured at school?
Is there any thing special we should know about your family and the student?
Be creative and open in your questions to help normalize today’s family dynamics! Knowing the family dynamics of your students will help you to adjust class activities. One example that comes to mind are Family Tree activities. I believe that this type of activity could be renamed as My Family Orchard. You can see how simply adjusting the title makes the activity more inclusive for students who have more than one set of parents/caregivers. I prefer to look at the activity as trees in the student’s orchard, rather than branches on a single tree. I probably do not have to, but I will offer a couple of examples: Children and youth living in step families; single parents and their support system, kinship families; adoptive families; and so forth all have orchards, versus one tree with maternal and paternal branches. Further, I believe completing an ‘orchard’ offers students the option of adding a foster family tree as well. For students who have not experienced multiple families, their craft can allow them to expand their orchards by creating trees for grandparents, aunts, uncles, and their families as well. In this way you may also learn who their support systems are.

I believe it will also be helpful for educators to look at their students’ orchards to help determine the supplies you will need for special occasion cards and crafts as the school year unfolds. When the inevitable Mother’s Day and Father’s Day card-making days approach you will be much more relaxed when you ask the student how many cards or crafts they wish to make. The student will be more relaxed too, knowing they do not have to ‘pick’ the person that ‘deserves’ a card or craft. It may even be more economical to buy enough supplies for multiple bookmarks, sun catchers, handprint bunnies, and coffee filter butterflies, than the cost of supplies needed to make one extravagant craft per student. It’s worth looking into. 

Moving on now to biology class . . .

Looking at common family traits or tendencies instead of focusing on eye colour, hair colour, and other physical commonalities may also help a student maintain a sense of belonging to their current family. As well, it may help prepare them for the future when they meet a relative, even a parent, whom they never met when they were a child but that they discover they share a family trait with. I’m thinking of family traits such as athleticism, musical talent, and so forth. Belonging to a family, whether the student was born into it or not, should be the educators’ focus. A personal example was when I discovered I have a birth nephew who has the natural ventriloquial talent that I have. Now that was an unexpected bonus! 

Often one will hear how a child or youth is very musical while their adoptive family is ‘tone deaf’ or they can draw beautifully while their adoptive parents struggle to colour in the lines of a colouring picture. Science is suggesting that there may be more to family traits or tendencies than we know. Perhaps modelling is not the only way to encourage talents in children and youth, but simply offering the opportunity to grow is the true way. Educators need to focus on the talents and abilities the child or youth is showing, not simply on inherited traits expected because of biology. One example is avoiding questions like: Who in your family can draw like you?; Can your dad skate like you?; Does your whole family sing? Trust me, if there is someone in the family the child shares their talent with, they will tell you. If a biological child of two talented singers cannot sing, we should avoid commenting on that as well. Children and youth, given the opportunities and tools, will develop their own paths. 

I don’t think we expected to have the ability to one day pick up our phone and go on line to do all of our grocery shopping, or seasonal gift shopping, nor did we expect such variety of students’ life experiences in a single classroom but we must adjust. Educators need to adapt and adjust the curriculum activities that relate to students and their family dynamics.

No student of any age in any classroom setting should feel uncomfortable because they are being asked to complete a craft or activity that is only applicable to the concept of ‘mother/father/sister/brother/dog/cat’ that dominated outdated text books. Like family members of this new world, educators must learn to embrace and encourage a new understanding and acceptance of loving family units. No student should feel ashamed of being adopted, a step-child, a child being raised by grandparents, aunts, uncles, two moms, two dads . . . I think you get my meaning. 

Maybe when adults learn to accept these differences and model their  acceptance, there will be less shaming and bullying in our schools. 
We are all trees in a child’s orchard! 

As ever, thank you for your continued support as you read my blogs. I write from my heart in an effort to make a difference for children, youth and families. As ever, please feel free to leave me a comment, your comments give me the encouragement to carry on. If you prefer a more personal comment forum, please send me an email at [email protected]